Generation Me: 1970s – 1990s

“Generation Me: Why Today’s Young Americans Are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled – and More Miserable Than Ever Before” by Jean M. Twenge is the next book on my shelf. I picked this book up at Barnes and Noble before I left Texas last summer. It was going to be an insight into my students and how I could better understand the kids who would be walking and clamoring into my classroom over the next couple of years. Now, it is likely to become a form of self-examination and comparison of American and Asian culture, but I’ll take what I can get. I’ve heard mixed reviews about the book and how it apparently drops off the face of the earth come the middle chapters, but I’m willing to give it a chance.

The first chapter is entitled “You Don’t Need Their Approval: The Decline of Social Rules”, and discusses the apparent decline in social values and expectations in today’s youth, specifically their lack of concern and respect of others and the social norms older generations have grown accustomed to. Rather than sharing a few quotes and how I relate to them, I’m just going to divulge my own experience as a member of the “Me Generation” or “iGen” and how I find myself more comfortable with traditional values.

Twenge mentions the Marlowe-Crowne Social Desirability Scale toward the end of this first chapter, briefly describing how the scale measures a person’s need for social approval. She then tosses out a handful of statistics describing how scores have consistently decreased over the last several decades with the onset of individualism and the concept that “it doesn’t matter what people think”. My score was 14, landing me happily in the average range of this scale. To be honest, I wasn’t worried about the possibility of falling into the “needs social approval” category, because I know enough of about myself and have learned plenty from sociology and anthropology to know societies are going to be structured in a way that leads to certain expectations of conformity. Even now, with iGens flouting traditional rules, roles and identities, they are creating a larger circle of “non-conformists”. The younger generation is all about being the individual, being true to yourself, being happy and never letting anything determine who you should be or what you should do. I’m not saying I don’t agree with many of those points. I think a positive and optimistic attitude is one of the most important characteristics a person can have. I’m saying it’s silly for iGens to believe they are all unique for being unique. Yes, we are all different, all some variant of special, but we’re conforming to non-conformity and many of us are using that to project what I find to be a very negative and disrespectful attitude toward every other person who isn’t included in our generation.

I’ve been told on several occasions that I’m an “old soul”. I tend to agree with that notion. It’s likely some of my fellow iGens think me rather prudish, conservative, or old-fashioned. I’m okay with that, and have to credit and thank my parents for raising me in an environment where traditional values like honesty, manners and respect were prevalent and expected. I remember every lie I’ve ever told, and know lying makes me feel terrible, which is why I would rather tell the truth. I remember having a conversation with an ex about what was more important, being right or being honest. He said he would rather be right. I, on the other hand, would rather be honest. If being honest means I’m wrong in some choice or fashion and that results in lower pay, a poor grade or embarrassment, so be it. At the very least, I can go to sleep at night without fretting over falsehoods and know I’ve grown from the experience.

The old adage “honesty is the best policy” is something I adhere to as strongly as possible, but that doesn’t mean I have to be rude. I do think people should care about others’ feelings enough to know they should err on the side of politeness rather than blatantly telling a person the equivalent of “f*** off”. The fact that kids these days so openly swear in classes, talk back to adults and generally don’t care about what’s happening around them appalls me. I knew and cared enough about my surroundings to only curse when I was with friends outside of middle or high school. Never in front of my parents. There was an unspoken rule that you couldn’t swear in front of adults until you reached college. Then, you could swear like a sailor, just not in front of your mother. I will admit, sometimes that’s still a struggle for me.

I believe acknowledging the differences between generations is important and critical when interacting with them. It’s very likely that your boss is going to be from an older generation. If you want to keep that job and his or her respect, you better know how to act around them and desire their approval. That’s how it works. Sure, plenty of people don’t like working under a boss or administrative team, they do well striking out on their own and I’m sure any iGens they employ will be grateful for the laid back atmosphere. But, unless you’re incredibly driven and lucky, more than likely that’s not going to be your work environment for the majority of the time you’re employable. You have to be aware of your surroundings. I shouldn’t be surprised my mother keeps telling me this even though she knows my educational background, but it’s completely true and I must stress it as much as she does. Know your surroundings. You can only go so far by yourself. Humans are social creatures, while individualism is prized, I would say the most successful, if not happy, people are the ones who know when, where, and how to tailor their interactions with others. So yes, I think a measure of caring and the need to feel socially accepted would do the iGens some good.

Twenge also questions the future of the iGens and what will become of their children. I cannot speak for the entire generation, but I can see a future filled with infants who carry around the latest Apple product. This has already started to happen. To be quite honest, that terrifies me. Yes, technology is a great learning tool and resource. But what happened to getting messy and melting crayons in the car? (I’m sure my parents didn’t really appreciate that, but I’m sure they’d rather deal with melted wax than a broken iPad.) What happened to books kids could physically touch? What happened to recess? What happened to manners? I would like to say that my future children will not be getting a cell phone before high school. I would like to say they will know how to answer the phone, write thank you letters, wash their laundry, and value the outdoors. I would like to say they will know how to dress for a job interview, cook for themselves and address their elders. Until I have them, I cannot give an accurate answer as to what will happen. At the very least, I can say I would rather them be individuals with a traditional flair rather than individuals who are self-centered and disrespectful.

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